Feeling Lonely

"Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings."
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

For the first real, intense time in my trip, I feel lonely and lost. I had traveled solo for the first 11 months away from the US, and it went by so quickly. I was too busy meeting new people, learning the language and seeing new places to mind being alone. I enjoy my own company and find ways to make myself laugh and stay busy.

In November 2013, I met a woman named Molly. I helped her paint one of her murals and learned about her story at the Erratic Rock hostel in Puerto Natales, Chile. Little did I know I would end up traveling with her into March 2014. For the both of us, having traveled solo for about a year, we had not had a travel companion for more than a week. It was a beautiful learning experience. One I'll never forget.

Molly decided to follow a dream of hers and get yoga teacher certified in Mexico. I supported her decision, and told her I would follow my dream in continuing my route north to Alaska.

The days and weeks following her departure gave me some time to myself. Lots of quiet time. Cooking for only myself. What am I doing, I thought. What is my purpose? I realized my original purpose was to get lost. Now I am lost. I guess I succeeded in that.

I am learning this feeling is part of the experience of traveling, and traveling solo. It is a time to be authentic with the people you meet and talk to them about it. A time to reach out to family and friends, thanks to technology and wifi. Everyone experiences this loneliness and question of purpose in their life. When you travel, it is felt intensely like strong wind blown rain on your face and body on a freezing cold day. I am also learning to feel these feelings, not try to hide from them or act like everything is ok.

I continue the journey. A chapter has ended and a new one begins. Here is to growth.